1. Never get caught
Without the code of Harry, Dexter Morgan is faced with the fact that underneath his entire pretense, he is indeed a serial killer. Drawn to blood form an early age, and referring to his need to kill as a “dark passenger” he holds within himself, Dexter Morgan must always remember the first rule of the code. To never get caught means that Dexter has to follow certain rituals of the kill. These include: creating a kill room by covering everything with roles of plastic sheeting, binding his victims to a table wrapped in cling film, and making sure to chop up bodies into smaller pieces for ease of transportation and dumping. As a blood spatter analyst for the Miami Metro Homicide department, Dexter uses a vast amount of forensic knowledge to help cover his tracks. Never get caught is the first rule of the code, followed of course by “only kill those who deserve to be killed”, regardless of how the law has seen fit to deal with them. Lesson one is a hard learn, and often-leaves Dexter with tough decisions on how best to cover his tracks throughout all eight gloriously gory seasons.
2. Fake emotion and normality to fit in
In order to keep himself from straying along the darker path, Dexter has to convince himself that his need to kill will never go away. If so, then he needs to keep the code of Harry and detach himself from emotional bonds to his victims and those around him. If he can prove they are killers, then they deserve his table. Throughout each season of Dexter, the emotional part of the equation comes into question, especially when faced with enemies and foes he can both relate to, and on occasion, fall in love with. By keeping himself dead inside, Dexter can continue to live through the facade of a normal life, and allow the dark passenger to take hold of him when a kill must be committed. Lesson to be learnt…don’t let your emotions get the better of you.
3. Steaks and beer are the best meal ever!
If we have learnt anything from Dexter and sister Debra Morgan, it is that steaks and beer are the best. Even at the darkest times, the meal any homicide detective and serial killer can have to keep themselves fueled is steak and a frothy brew. This “other” ritual seems to go unnoticed by Dexter throughout the whole show, despite the fact that almost every episode contains a scene where he and Deb make a point of frying up a few steaks and popping open a brewski. The meat could be said to reflect Dexter’s yearning to cut up his victims (Bay Harbor Butcher style), as seen in the opening of every episode during the title credits. The opening of the show gives us a sense of Dexter’s daily morning routine showing him: frying eggs and steaks, making a fresh batch of coffee, cutting up and juicing a blood orange, cutting himself shaving, flossing his teeth, and smiling ominously as he leaves his apartment. Lesson to be learnt…make sure to eat less saturated fats, and floss before bedtime.
4. Protect your family at all cost
Ok…so Dexter kind of falls short under this category all the time. But he really can’t be blamed. After all, he is brought up by a cop who is teaching him how to murder and get away with it. His birth mother was brutally murdered, and his brother just so happens to be a serial killer as well. Despite being taught the code of Harry to keep himself alive, it is clear that Dexter must also find a way to protect his sister, both from harm and from the truth about his true self. We all know how that turns out by the later seasons, and the character of Debra Morgan is usually crying in distress due to emotional conflict, being kidnapped or shot in nearly every episode. Mostly because Dexter has been too preoccupied to make sure his next victim is properly sedated, or not dating his sister. Lesson to be learnt…you can’t have it both ways Dex!
5. Dating someone you work with is a terrible idea
In the case of the Morgan family, dating a fellow officer or serial killer always leads to more hurt. It also leads to a constant movement of property after break ups. Whether living in your brother’s apartment, buying a home after a brutal crime scene, or laying low on your own boat, dating someone you work with causes way too much stress. Lesson to be learnt…take it easy and try not to get attracted to everyone around you, especially those with an unhealthy bloodlust.
6. Never trust anyone with a political agenda
That’s right…we all know whom I’m referring to. Lt. Maria LaGuerta, the only cop in Miami who’s as dangerous as a serial killer without her gun and badge. If you want a promotion, you better learn to kiss ass, because LaGuerta will inevitably fuck you up if you stand in the way of one of her goals. Having said that, the writers never truly pinpointed the reason for the characters selfish ambition, nor why she seems to hate Deb for no apparent reason. Throughout each episode LaGuerta sticks her foot up someone’s ass, we never really know why. But when push comes to shove, we trust that the politically minded Lieutenant is always on the side of law and order, true justice, and catching bad guys…especially when it makes her look good. Lesson to be learnt…keep a watchful eye on your boss, and never trust them 100%.
7. Name your serial killers wisely
In each season, Dexter squares off against a particularly dangerous killer. Although he manages to get a few others on his table throughout the season, he is usually hunting down a larger challenge. Leave it to Miami Metro to give them a nice catchy name, usually so that Dexter can put a more human face on his victim once he discovers their true identity midway through the season. Lesson to be learnt…name your killer after one particular attribute of their MO. For example:
- The Ice Truck Killer (used an ice truck to freeze his victims)
- The Bay Harbor Butcher (dumps his chopped up victims in the water)
- Trinity (kills three victims at a time)
- The Skinner (kinda obvious)
- Doomsday (religious affiliation)
8. Make sure to address your enemy by their full name
It became clear by season 3 of Dexter that each killer the dark passenger comes into contact with, addresses him by his full name. There was even an episode titled ‘Hello Dexter Morgan”, where the Trinity killer discovers the true identity of Dexter’s alias Karl Butler. Despite the gruesome business our protagonist carries out, there is always a respect for manners, and being polite. In fact, the only character that really defies this convention is Debra Morgan, who has a mouth you wouldn’t want to kiss your mother with. Lesson to be learnt…politeness goes a long way, and any identity should be well protected if you’re out hunting or vetting you’re next victim.
9. Presentation is key
Regardless of the fact that Dexter is a show, and is not real, its still remarkable how he manages to wear the same killing outfit throughout, without having to change or throw it away. There are a few exceptions to this when Dexter manages to get bloodied up, usually during the vetting process when someone unexpectedly comes home. In this case, we do see Dexter dumping the odd shirt or making an excuse for why there is blood on him whilst he analyses a crime scene. The killing outfit however, gets more blood on it than any other. Ok, so he does where a rubber apron and gloves during his butchering, but come on! Who can clean that much blood from their clothes and still be immaculately presented when showing up to work every day? Lesson to be learnt…use the best damn laundry detergent money can buy, or have multiple matching items of clothing just in case.
10. Vince Masuka is the man!
With an entourage of fellow detectives and forensics, the one person that Dexter should fear the most is actually too happy go lucky to ever catch on to his other career. Vince Masuka is a creepy, overly sexual beast with one or two tricks up his sleeve to make any cop’s bachelor party rule. Although he himself considers Dexter to be the genius of the Miami Metro Homicide department, he could easily use all of his own forensic skill to catch him out. But it would seem that Masuka is always going to miss out, due to the fact that he is constantly distracted by the female sex, and very much in awe of Miami’s most dangerous killer without knowing it. Is there a lesson here? Not really, but we love Masuka just the way he is.
If you're a fan of Dexter, feel free to leave any comments below! Watch out also for the awesome complete series DVD/Blu Ray collection, boxed to look like Dexter's coveted blood slide trophies and also a homicide dummy head due to be released in November. So from me and Dexter...
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